Incoming Transmission

 

"GREETINGS, MORTAL, FROM THE CURSED COSMOS! I, GRIMALDI, ARISE FROM THE GRAVE OF STARCRUISERS, WHERE THE HORSEHEAD NEBULA'S DARK ENERGIES HAVE REANIMATED MY UNDEAD HOST. FOR CENTURIES, I'VE LAIN DORMANT, FEASTING ON THE ASTRAL DETRITUS OF THE GALAXY. NOW, I EMERGE TO UNLEASH A MAELSTROM OF COSMIC TERROR UPON THE UNIVERSE!

 

"JOIN ME, IF YOU DARE, ON A JOURNEY THROUGH THE FORGOTTEN TOMES OF SPLATTERPUNK, WHERE THE VERY FABRIC OF REALITY IS TORN ASUNDER. BEHOLD, A GALAXY OF GROTESQUE PROPORTIONS, WHERE THE SCUM OF THE UNIVERSE CONGREGATES IN A HIVE OF VILLAINY. PREPARE TO WITNESS THE MOST UNHOLY OF ABOMINATIONS, AS THE COSMOS ITSELF SEEMS TO WRITHE IN AGONY.

 

YOUR SANITY WILL BE TESTED, YOUR SOUL WILL BE SCARRED, AND YOUR VERY EXISTENCE WILL BE THREATENED. BUT FEAR NOT, FOR IN THIS ABYSS OF DESPAIR, YOU'LL FIND THE DARKEST CORNERS OF THE UNIVERSE LAID BARE BEFORE YOU. SO, BUCKLE UP, MORTAL, AND JOIN ME ON THIS PERILOUS ODYSSEY THROUGH THE REALMS OF COSMIC HORROR. FOR IN THE WORDS OF THE ANCIENT ONES, 'THE UNIVERSE IS A CRUEL MISTRESS, AND I AM HER INSTRUMENT OF CHAOS.'"